Author's Note: I was told not to publish this. I was told it would be difficult to those involved. I was even told that these people are victims too. That is the exact reason I MUST publish it. Being difficult to hear or admit to, does not negate that it happened. It simply confirms why it is so important for me to share my story. This is my truth and I will not be silenced.

Foreward: Readers looking for restraint will not find it here. Readers willing to sit with someone while a lifetime of longing spills out again and again until it finally exhales into a bruised, stubborn, almost inaudible hope, are welcome to stay.

...Enticingly possessive, it can consume me—Control me or comfort me; there’s no negotiating with it...

...This post-soviet provocateur is reflecting back my own aspirations. The artist I want to be, presents as a pencil moustache with braids...

Theme: No one chooses for us. A personal poem about Shannon's lived experience as a person with disability.